What Were You Wearing? - Zonta of Cape Girardeau

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According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), for every 1,000 sexual assaults, only 310 are reported to law enforcement. Of those reports, just 50 lead to an arrest, 28 result in a felony conviction, and only 25 perpetrators are sentenced to incarceration. As a result, approximately 98% of perpetrators never serve time in prison. One of the many reasons survivors choose not to report is the fear of being blamed or questioned, often through the painful question, "What were you wearing?"

What Were You Wearing? is a powerful exhibit that challenges one of the most common and harmful myths surrounding sexual assault: that a survivor's clothing is somehow responsible for the crime committed against them.

Hosted at Catapult Creative House, located at 612 Broadway Street in Cape Girardeau, the exhibit featured recreations of outfits worn by sexual assault survivors at the time of their assaults, demonstrating that clothing is never the cause of sexual violence.

This subject matter may be triggering to some individuals

"I was 10 years old. I was staying with a family friend while my mom was away. I was sitting on his lap by the fireplace after gymnastics. Wearing my leotard. My mom said it happens to every pretty little girl and never confronted him or tried to keep me away from him."

"I was 30 years old. Stayed in a friend's camper Memorial Day weekend with my kids, them, and their kids. Woke up to him in bed with me already assaulting me. Wearing athletic shorts with built in underwear, panties, and t shirt. Even my husband at the time (ex now) asked me what I was wearing."

"I was wearing black flare yoga pants and a black tank top. They always tell you to fight back, but that didn’t help when I was 100 pounds soaking wet and he was bigger and stronger than me."

"Demin cut-offs and a white button up shirt. I was 12."

"The abuse began the summer after my kindergarten year, my babysitter’s teenage son would assault me every time we were sent outside to play. It took me a year to tell an adult because he blamed me and said it was my fault in an effort to keep me silent."

"A black mock turtleneck with long sleeves and a pair of flare jeans. I was at a work event with a large group. A trusted friend handed me a drink. I don't remember much else other than screaming in pain. Whatever was in my drink wore off the next morning but has blocked any memories from that first drink. Three years later I have started getting flashes and night terrors. I don't know how to explain those or my panic attacks to my children."

"My first memory on earth. A beautiful summer day with blue sky and comfortable temperature. I was 3 or 4 years old and riding on my brother’s shoulder when suddenly I felt his hands slip beneath my shorts.

I didn’t tell. I didn’t know to tell. I never told anyone over the next 15 years when 3 out of 4 of my brothers did worse. Tell the little girls it is okay to tell. Immediately. And start telling them it is okay to tell when they are very very young. Before they even understand. When some, unfortunately, learn what you are talking about, they will know to tell.

To stop it."

If you want to help survivors just like these, please consider donating to SEMO-NASV.

The Southeast Missouri Network Against Sexual Violence (SEMO-NASV) was formed in 1997 to provide timely, compassionate, coordinated care for child and adult survivors of sexual violence. Because sexual violence has long-term and far-reaching effects on adults and children, SEMO-NASV offers advocacy, counseling and forensic care for all survivors of sexual violence in Southeast Missouri.

https://semonasv.org/donate/